I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
