well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
