garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
