You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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