dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
