Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It was confusing and full of hummus
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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