you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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