They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
