Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
