Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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