i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
