Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
