i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
3pm strippers are depressing
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
