the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
