yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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