I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
