drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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