Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
