is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
