oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
