he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
