guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
