Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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