We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
