so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
