on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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