I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
