you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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