that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
