So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Randomize
