im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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