I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
