am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
