What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I smell like Dick and happiness
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
