she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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