I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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