i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
