So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
