i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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