I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
