HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
