they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How external is "for external use only"?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
