Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
