Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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