pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
