we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
