I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
