ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
