Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
