I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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