hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm too high and old for this...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
